Favorite or funny movie quotes

[RIP]

What are some of your fave movie quotes from films:

Airplane:
"Hey Billy, you ever seen a grown man naked"
"you ever had a dog to grab a hold of your leg and go to town":lol:

Jaws:
"We're gonna need a bigger boat"

Porky's:
"Why do they call you Meat"
"Boy Ms. Ballbreaker, you sure put alot weight behind that kick"
"This is gonna be your night to remember"

Animal House:
"Grab a brew, it don't cost nothing"
"Don't tell me you're gonna pork Marlene Desmond tonight....."pork".....I bet you're gonna hump her brains out tonight"

Halloween:
"I met this 6 year old child with this blind pale emotionless face and the blackest eyes, the devil's eyes"

The Naked Gun:
"That's no way for a man to die......getting caught in the gears of a combine, having your nuts bit off by a rottweiler now that's the way I wanna go"

[Victor Clark]

The 40 Year Old Virgin -
"You look like a Man-O-Lantern!"

Dawn of the Dead 04 -
"OK, how about we draw straws, and the loser runs across the lot with a ham sandwich?"

Diary of the Dead -
"I'm just stealing shit, but you! What's a guy with a video camera doing in the woman's dorm? Heh heh! SECURITY!"

"****ing mummies get all the girls!"

Juno -
Juno: "Hey Su Chin!"
Su Chin: "Oh hi Juno. How are you?"
Juno: "You know, pretty solid! So have you started on that paper for Wart's class yet?"
Su Chin: "No, I tried to work on it a little last night but I couldn't concentrate."
Juno: "Well I can sell you some of my Aderale. If you want."
Su Chin: "No thanks. I'm off pills."
Juno: "Thats a wise choice. Because I like knew this girl who had like this crazy freak out from taking too many behaviral meds at once. And she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale mall and was like, "Blah I am a krackin from the sea!""
Su Chin: "I heard that was you."
Juno: "Well it was good seeing you Su Chin."

[RIP]

The 40 Year Old Virgin:
"Well it's $9.00 beer night"
"I'm finding it hard to find the drunk people"
"Well I might have never had sex before but I sure can **** you guys up"
"You know how I know that you're gay?"

[Betterdayz]

"We Can't Stop Here! This Is Bat Country!!"

[zombie surfer]

Naked Gun : Nice Beaver - yeah i just had it stuffed.:lol:

[RIP]

Airplane:
"Surely you can't be serious"...."I am serious and don't call me Shirley"

[zombie surfer]

Pulp Fiction : Oh no! Ijust shot Marvin in the face.:lol:

[kanUsurvive]

Dawn of the Dead 2004

Kenneth: Is everyone there dead?
Steve: Well, dead-ish.
Kenneth: Is everyone there dead?
Steve: Yeah, in the sense that they all sort of, uh... fell down... and then got up... and started eating each other.

Michael: So what's the plan?
CJ: The plan is you drink a nice tall glass of Shut The F*ck Up!

Steve: Hey, I'm sorry, excuse me... when you two fellas are done blowing each other, maybe Davy Crockett could tell us the deal here?

Bart: Hey, you guys know that chick from Dairy Queen?
CJ: The fat one?
Bart: Yeah, she was coming over tonight. I would've tapped that shit for sure.
Terry: Bart, dude, everybody's dead, OK? Your mom's dead, your brother's dead, the fat chick at Dairy Queen... dead.
Bart: Yeah, that sucks too.

So many great lines from that movie.

[RIP]

Army of Darkness:
"Groovy"
"Give me some sugar baby"

[kanUsurvive]

Evil Dead

know now that my wife has become host to a Candarian demon. I fear that the only way to stop those possessed by the spirits of the book is through the act of... bodily dismemberment.

[DarthJoe8]

Henry Hill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000501/): You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): What do you mean I'm funny?
Henry Hill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000501/): It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000501/): It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
Anthony Stabile (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0012376/): Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000501/): Jus...
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): What?
Henry Hill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000501/): Just... ya know... you're funny.
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fu*ked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fu*kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000501/): Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fu*k am I funny, what the fu*k is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Henry Hill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000501/): [long pause] Get the fu*k out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000582/): [everyone laughs] Ya motherfu*ker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

:drinking:

[JohnDRobinson]

From Pineapple Express (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910936/):

Red: Why don't you follow his lead and just chill out, man?

Dale Denton: I'm chill. I'm chill as a cucumber, man.

Red: You don't seem chill.

Dale Denton: I'm more chill than you.

Red: You're more chill than me?

Dale Denton: Yeah.

Red: Look what I'm wearing. Kimono, dog. What're you wearing?

Dale Denton: A suit.

Red: Yeah, exactly. I don't know what's up with you, but I don't know if I like you.

Dale Denton: Well, I don't know if I like you either, man.

Red: Well, that's your loss 'cause I'm a great friend.

Same movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910936/):

You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherf_____r!

[DarthJoe8]

Apone: All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps! :drinking:

[guinnessman]

Hot fuzz:
Danny: So what made you want to be a policeman?
Nicholas: Officer.
Danny: What made you want to be a policemanofficer?

Nicholas: Oh my god, he's gone.
Danny: Noooo. Whos gone?
Nicholas: Why are you dressed like a police officer?
Danny: Because I.. am one?:doh:

:clap::clap:

[DarthJoe8]

Conan the Barbarian: the Wizard

Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

:drinking:I love this movie...:cry:

[RIP]

Caddyshack:

"I smell vermit poontang and the only good vermit poontang is dead vermit poontang"

"Whoahhhhh...the dance of the living dead"

"hey is this your wife, you must have been something before electricity honey"

"you wanna make $5 the hard way"

"can you make a bull shark, can you make a shoe smell"

"hey you all know my friend Wang here, hey no offense"

"so when you boys due back in boystown"

"that has to be the ugliest looking hat ever, I bet you get a free thing of tees with it...oh, but it looks good on you though"

"No I'm not grandpa I'm playing tennis......(Spalding you're gonna play golf and like it)......but it gives my asthma grandpa.....(I'll give you asthma)":lol::drinking:

[RIP]

Old School:

scene from the wedding toast:

"true love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and 2 nude people come out of your bath room blind folded like a god damn magician show and try to double team your girlfriend"

[DarthJoe8]

:eat:

Pinhead (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0103208/): Ah, no more boxes, Kirsty?
Female Cenobite (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0928411/): No more teasing, Kirsty, it's time to play.
Pinhead (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0103208/): Time to play...
Kirsty Cotton (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0491090/): Wait!
Pinhead (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0103208/): No more deals child, it is your flesh we want to experience, not your skill at bargaining.
Kirsty Cotton (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0491090/): No deals, just information, just information!
Pinhead (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0103208/): Go on... but trick us again child, and your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!

:clap:

[Sllikylloh]

Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.
-Ash. Army Of Darkness

[DarthJoe8]

"That's right, Bub! Say hello to your Aunt Alicia! Say, "Hello, Aunt Alicia!" "Hello!":drinking:

[Chuck Zombie]

National Lampoons Loaded Weapon 1 - greatest comedy movie ever.

Convenience store cashier 1:Hello, hello. Nice weather we are having.
Colt (Emilio Estevez): Nice weather? You think we're having... nice weather? I guess you didn't lose the only one that meant anything in your life. I guess you don't feel burned out by the human misery and despair perpetrated by the criminal vermin that infest every pore of this decaying city, forcing you to guzzle cheap wine and cheaper whiskey to dull the pain that shatters your heart, rips at your soul, and keeps your days forever gray. What flavor Icee you got today?
Convenience store cashier 1:Kiwi-cherry.
Colt: Yuck!

[Two robbers walk up and set down two things of pantyhose]
Robber: Excuse me, do you have any of these in taupe?
Convenience store cashier 2: No taupe, beef jerky.
Robber:....and you call this a convenience store?
[robbers open pantyhose right in front of cashiers and put them on their head]
Robber: Alright, open up the cash register!

Colt: (While interrogating a guy) Give me a name!
Beckard (Jon Lovitz): Weren't your parents supposed to do that?

Wes Luger (Sam Jackson): There's something between you and this General Morters.
Colt: He was my C.O. in NAM. CIA listed him as M.I.A. but the V.A. ID'd him and so we put out an APB.
Wes Luger: Oh, I see.

Colt: So what are you doing here?
Destiny (Kathy Ireland): Waiting for you.
Colt: I mean, what brought you here?
Destiny: A taxi.
Colt: Yeah, but why?
Destiny: My car's in the shop.
Colt: I mean... Why the hell did you come here?

[Colt and Luger's car blows up]
Colt: Good thing we took valet.
Wes Luger: Taxi!
[the taxi blows up]
Colt: I guess we're making somebody nervous. But I'll tell you this: It's gonna take a helluva lot more than a couple of car bombs to get us off of this case.
Wes Luger: Not a helluva lot more.

Becker: What? I don't know nothin'. I didn't see nothin'. I ain't say nothin'.
Wes Luger: Nothing, the word is nothing, not nothin'. There's an i-n-g on the end of it. Nothing.
Becker: Ok, nothing. Nothiiing. Nothiiiiiiiiiiing. Ok, you happy?
Wes Luger: That's better.

Man in helicopter: [after shooting up a trailer home which then blows up, Bruce Willis then rises from the flaming wreckage with a white flag] Is this 1014 Pacific coast Highway?
Bruce Willis: HUH?
Man in helicopter: 1014 Pacific coast Highway?
Bruce Willis: NO! NO THIS IS 814 PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY! 1014 IS TWO BLOCKS OVER THERE!
Man in helicopter: Sorry! My mistake!
Bruce Willis: [sarcastically] NO PROBLEM! NO PROBLEM!

Mr. Jigsaw: [holding a gun on York] In a little while, Miss York, you will be begging for mercy.
Sgt. Billy York (Whoopi Goldberg): No, no, I'll beg now.

Sgt. Billy York: [after being questioned by Jigsaw about the microfilm] McCracken!
Mr. Jigsaw: Thank you, Ms York!
[shoots York]
Mr. Jigsaw: [turns around, confused] Is that Dan McCracken, or Mike McCracken?
Sgt. Billy York: Mike...
[Mr. Jigsaw shoots York again]
Mr. Jigsaw: [turns around again] Is he on Alpine or Oak?
Sgt. Billy York: [thinking] Alpine...
Mr. Jigsaw: [shoots York again]
Sgt. Billy York: Psst... Park on Third- you'll never find a spot on Alpine.
Mr. Jigsaw: [smiling] Thank you! You have been most co-operative!
Sgt. Billy York: Don't mention it.
Mr. Jigsaw: [shoots York again]

Wes Luger: So what are we looking at Doc? [referring to ^Billy York's^ body]
Dr. Joyce Brothers:The worst dressed stiff I've ever seen.
Wes Luger:This stiff and I pounded a beat together for 5 years. Show some respect.
Dr. Joyce Brothers:I'm sorry Wes. You know I see so much of this senseless mayhem, that sometimes I get a little insensative. Alright, this loser has taken the chickenshit way out and punched her own ticket.
Wes Luger:Suicide, huh? [rolls her over and the look on Whoopi Goldberg's face is of complete surprise] She must have caught herself by surprise.

[Mr. Jigsaw (Tim Curry) is holding a gun to Sgt. Colt's head]
Jack Colt: Who are you?
Mr. Jigsaw: I'm your worst nightmare.
Jack Colt: No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare.
Mr. Jigsaw: Okay, alright, so I'm not actually your worst nightmare. But I am quite up there!
Wes Luger: What's going on in here?
Mr. Jigsaw: Drop your gun Mr. Luger!
Wes Luger: I don't have one...
Mr. Jigsaw: [confused] You are not carrying a weapon?
Wes Luger: Don't believe in them.
Mr. Jigsaw: [slides a gun over] Pick up the gun.
Wes Luger: [picks up the gun]
Mr. Jigsaw: *Drop* the gun Mr. Luger!

Wes Luger
[at a crime scene, looking down at a body while another detective is scratching his head]: What you got Irv?
Irv:Oh, beats me Sarge, Dandruff, Sebria, maybe just dry scalp.
Wes Luger:Have you tried this Irv? I use it.
Irv:Head and Shoulders? But Sarge, you don't have dandruff.
Wes Luger:I know.

Hotel Clerk [while being asked if he knew Whoopi Goldberg's character]:You got a picture?
Wes Luger:Yeah.[pulls out a T-shirt with Whoopi Goldberg's picture on it]
Hotel Clerk:Is that her?
Wes Luger:No that's her picture.
Hotel Clerk: Nah, never seen her.
Wes Luger: Well maybe *this* [reaches off-screen and pulls out a stretcher with Whoopi Goldberg's "body" covered in a sheet] will refresh your memory.

Colt: She was supposed to meet you here the night she died. Why?
Becker:It's where I live.
Colt: Yeah, but why you?
Becker:Because the other guy couldn't come up with the security deposit.

Wes Luger [looking down at a body at another crime scene while another detective is squatting near the body with a dog]:What are we looking at here?
Detective Dooley:A mixed breed. Rottweiler and chihuahua. I guess they used some kind of lubricant.

Irv:Hey, what you got Sarg?
Wes Luger: I don't know. Nothing solid. You got any theories?
Irv:E=MC squared.
Wes Luger:Any of your own?
Irv:No

Wes Luger: Didn't you die?
Becker:I thought this was the sequel.

Colt:How many men have you slept with?
Destiny:Five, maybe six.
Colt:Not a lot for this day and age.
Destiny:It's been a slow week.

Colt [after finding Lugers door open and walking up the stairs to find Luger on the toilet like the famous scene in Lethal Weapon]: What's wrong!?
Luger:Nothing. Taking a shit.

Destiny:Ouch.
Colt:What?
Destiny:Painful cuticle.
Colt:You think that's painful? Razor burn.
Destiny:Retaining water.
Colt [lifts up shirt to reveal beer bottle cap embedded in his side]:Nickel beer night. Dodger stadium.
Destiny:And these? [points to scars on his side] Vietnam?
Colt:Perrocial School. [pulls of arm] Grenade. Riot at a Love Connection Taping.
Destiny:That's nothing. Plate in my head, elective surgery. I was a fool.
Colt:Try this: [opens up a door in his chest to reveal a hamster on a wheel where his heart should be] low budget organ transplant.
Destiny:Colt:, enough foreplay. We were made for each other!

Colt: Alright Becker! It's the police! Open up!
[Becker shoots the door to make "FU"]
Wes Luger: Now let's try it my way. [knocks on door] Room service!
[Becker opens up the door]
Wes Luger: Are you Billy York's contact?
Becker: I don't know no York, and where is my food.
Wes Luger: We ate it, and please, no double negatives.
Becker: I don't know ANY York.
Wes Luger: These matches say your lying. [shows him a matchbook with the name of the hotel they're currently in and opens it up.....it say "You're Lying" on the inside]
Becker: [nervously] Uh...New York!

Wes Luger: [ANSWERING MACHINE RECORDING] "You've reached the desk of Sergeant Wes Luger. Please leave a message after the beep."
Billie York: "Yeah, Wes, it's me, Billie..."
Wes Luger: [ANSWERING MACHINE RECORDING] "HEY,! I said AFTER the beep!"
Billie York: "Excuse me."

Colt: [trying to defuse a bomb by himself on a boat at night. Becker pops up right before he cuts a wire]
Becker: No, not that one.
Colt: it's always the blue one.
Becker: yeah, but that one's Orange. [long pause as Colt goes back to work] Hey Colt, did you ever see Hot Shots? It's just funny that you're doing [i]this and.......
Colt: Alright Becker, this one's got your name all over it. [shows a wire with a label that says "Becker." Becker runs away as Colt cuts it and an explosion sends him flying off the boat]


Sorry I posted so many, but that movie really does rule.

[RIP]

They Live:

"Either put on these glasses or start eating that trash can"
"Why you dirty motherfu.c.ker"

[RIP]

Shaun of the Dead:

"Can I buy any of you c.u.nt.s a drink"

"it's 4 in the f.u.c.king morning"

[scorpipede]

"I think eskimos are smug".

Anger Management

[RIP]

Kingpin:

"What is it about sex that makes me have to take a good crap.........you sure jarred something up loose down there tiger":lol:

[DarthJoe8]

Hellraiser III

The Priest: You'll burn in hell for this!
Pinhead: Burn? Oh, such a limited imagination!

:eat:

[DarthJoe8]

Shaun of the dead. "You have red on you." :lol:

[Darkness]

"Sitting here watching 'Planet Terror', and I just caught a good one......."

"Cherry Darling: (to Dr. Dakota Block) I'm Cherry."
"Dr. Dakota Block's reply: You sure are."

:)

[J Dub]

" i'm here to kick a$$ and chew bubble gum, and i'm all out of bubble gum"
roddy piper-They Live

[homelitexl]

Army of darkness- listen up you primitive screwheads this is my boomstick.

forrest gump- mamma said i was named after my uncle he was in the klan.

evil dead- gothcha you lil bastard

smokey and the bandit- theres a smokey in a plain white wrapper coming up on your back door- non redneck translation you have an unmarked policecar coming up behind you.

[phatpete]

ash- hail to the king baby

straight outta locash

[BarnabusBlackoak]

AT THE EARTH'S CORE Peter Cushing "You cannot mesmerize me, I'm British!" (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/earthcore/earthcore4.wav) <--click to hear

ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES
Old Man: "Look at the giant tomato, Martha."
Old Woman: "I didn't know they grow'd them so big, Jess."
Old Man: "I wonder where he's going. He got little Timmy."
Old Woman: "Poor Timmy."
Old Man: "He ate him all up." (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/killtomato/killtomato1.wav) <---click to hear

[ZombieGore]

Run Ronnie Run

"Is that a beer in your pants or are you just happy too see me?"
"Beer? Nah babe thats a hard-on, you gave that to me"
:lol::clap:

[weirdbeard]

Chopper, Sick Balls!



Stand by Me

[44hogleg]

"Its 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, its dark and we're wearing sunglasses"

"Do you smell that? It's napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Y'know, once we had a hill bombed....12 hours....and when it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of them, not one stinking dink body.
The smell, y'know that gasoline smell, the whole hill.
Smells like........ Victory.
Some day this war's gonna end."

"Hey, man, you don't talk to the Colonel. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll... uh... well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you"... I mean I'm no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas..."

"What we've ot here is failure to comunicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men."

[Thing]

"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, but im all out of bubblegum."

Roddy Piper- They Live

[zombiekilling101]

uh uh uh. you didnt say the magic word. PLEASE!

jurrasic park

[Creeping Death]

"**** this clown." - Zombieland.

[homelitexl]

i got wood sean of the dead

[Hunk]

Shaun of the Dead....................
"...Cant We all Just CALM THE **** DOWN!..."
"...Its Four in the ****ING morning..."
"...Yeah Boyeee!!!..."

Friday...................
"...you got knocked the **** out!..."

Scarface................
"...Say good night to the bad guy..."
"...Ill bury those cockaroaches!..."
"...every dog has his day..."

[Thing]

KHAAaannnnn!!!!!!!!

Willim Shatner- Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

[homelitexl]

now im off to stik a testicle in everyone in china

[Thing]

Day of Doom is here. All that is evil, all their allies;
your parents, your leaders, those who would call themselves your judges;
those who have lied and corrupted the Earth!

...they shall all be cleansed.

James Earl Jones (Thulsa Doom)- Conan the Barbarian

[DarthJoe8]

Mongol General: What is best in life?

Conan: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Great stuff!! :drinking: