The Blind Dead
04-30-2007, 06:39 AM
Okay everyone; it’s time to make yet another scary ghost movie so get your nine year old daughters, nieces and/or sisters together, rub some Vaseline into their hair, smear their little faces with some of that leftover zombie make-up from last Halloween, stuff them into a cutsie cotton nightgown and line ‘em up. We’ll get around to using every single ****ing one of them at some point, so be patient. After all, there’s still a little bit of leftover originality lying around that we haven’t raped out of Ringu yet, right?
Bitter? Me? Nah.
Claire Holloway (Gabrielle Anwar) is a successful children’s author who, at one point during this film, presumptuously counts herself among the best, lumping herself in with the likes of Roald Dahl and Aesop. Wow, arrogant much? The film opens with Claire reading her own book aloud to a wide eyed group of children, and lemme tellya - J. K. Rowling isn’t exactly cowering in a corner, okay? Claire’s writing is comparable to Dr. Seuss...if Dr. Seuss had been a brain damaged moron with zero imagination and no access to a thesaurus.
Anyway, Claire has somehow managed to become filthy stinking rich from writing her morbid and badly rhymed books, which she also illustrates! Oh my god, is there anything this bitch CAN’T do? Well, as a matter of fact, there is. Claire can’t get a...[READ MORE HERE] (http://www.joehorror.com/0000788.html)
Bitter? Me? Nah.
Claire Holloway (Gabrielle Anwar) is a successful children’s author who, at one point during this film, presumptuously counts herself among the best, lumping herself in with the likes of Roald Dahl and Aesop. Wow, arrogant much? The film opens with Claire reading her own book aloud to a wide eyed group of children, and lemme tellya - J. K. Rowling isn’t exactly cowering in a corner, okay? Claire’s writing is comparable to Dr. Seuss...if Dr. Seuss had been a brain damaged moron with zero imagination and no access to a thesaurus.
Anyway, Claire has somehow managed to become filthy stinking rich from writing her morbid and badly rhymed books, which she also illustrates! Oh my god, is there anything this bitch CAN’T do? Well, as a matter of fact, there is. Claire can’t get a...[READ MORE HERE] (http://www.joehorror.com/0000788.html)