The Blind Dead
04-16-2007, 03:53 AM
“Five cheerleaders spend the night in an abandoned farmhouse...”
Wow. Now THERE’S a sentence fragment that could make even the most jaded horror film fan fling the DVD, case and all, right the hell across the room. And I very nearly did just that when I flipped this DTV stinkbomb over to take a gander at the synopsis. Oh goody. Cheerleaders. Yippee ki yay. If there’s one thing I absolutely despise - besides steamed broccoli and Hello Kitty accessories, that is - its cheerleaders.
Watching them get slaughtered is fine. But don’t ask me to identify with or sympathize for them. Those vacuous ****s in their flirty little skirts made my life a living hell in high school. Carve ‘em up, dismember them, slam their heads down on spikes, it’s all therapeutic good fun for me! But I’m not gonna root for the Last Girl if she’s a cheerleader. I’m just not gonna. I couldn’t care less about those braindead rah-rah rejects.
So it was, already cynical, that I sat down to watch this turd. Preconceived notions much? Nah, not me!
Five ohmigod gorgeous girlfriends - Amber, Hilary, Megan, Samantha and Candice - load up their bitchin’ Jeep and take off for the weekend for absolutely no reason that I could fathom. Girls mini-vacay I guess, or perhaps a mass...[READ MORE HERE] (http://www.joehorror.com/0000745.html)
Wow. Now THERE’S a sentence fragment that could make even the most jaded horror film fan fling the DVD, case and all, right the hell across the room. And I very nearly did just that when I flipped this DTV stinkbomb over to take a gander at the synopsis. Oh goody. Cheerleaders. Yippee ki yay. If there’s one thing I absolutely despise - besides steamed broccoli and Hello Kitty accessories, that is - its cheerleaders.
Watching them get slaughtered is fine. But don’t ask me to identify with or sympathize for them. Those vacuous ****s in their flirty little skirts made my life a living hell in high school. Carve ‘em up, dismember them, slam their heads down on spikes, it’s all therapeutic good fun for me! But I’m not gonna root for the Last Girl if she’s a cheerleader. I’m just not gonna. I couldn’t care less about those braindead rah-rah rejects.
So it was, already cynical, that I sat down to watch this turd. Preconceived notions much? Nah, not me!
Five ohmigod gorgeous girlfriends - Amber, Hilary, Megan, Samantha and Candice - load up their bitchin’ Jeep and take off for the weekend for absolutely no reason that I could fathom. Girls mini-vacay I guess, or perhaps a mass...[READ MORE HERE] (http://www.joehorror.com/0000745.html)